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It was noon.  I picked up the phone and dialed her number.  She answered on the 4th ring.  Hey Auntie, will you call my mom at 8’oclock tonight and tell her that I’m pregnant?  WHATTTTTT???? was all I heard her scream before I hung up the phone. The next 8 hours would be the longest of my life.

At 7:55pm I locked myself in my bedroom. Five more minutes until my life changes.  Lord, please don’t let her kill me.  At 8:00pm, the phone rang.  I listened with my ear to the door.  She’s what?  Then came the knocks at the door.  Just like that, my secret was out.

I opened it slowly and there stood my mom, phone in one hand.  The other on her hip.  She didn’t say a word. She raised my shirt and said, Wow.  Yeah there’s a baby in there.  See I was very tiny and easily hid the growing bump with jogging suits, stretch pants,  and oversized shirts.  It was not out of the ordinary for me because it was the 90’s and that’s how we dressed.  She ended the call with my aunt and then the questions came.  How? When? Who? Why? 

The next words out of her mouth were, I’m calling your daddy.  NO!  Please don’t tell my daddy.  That’s when the real fear consumed me.  I adored my daddy and he adored me.  The last thing in the world that I ever  wanted to do was let him down.  He took the news calmly. He drove to my house and picked me up.  We talked. He cried. I cried.  WE cried.

He then returned me home to my mother and we talked.  They presented me with options.  They offered abortion services.  They offered adoption services.  They asked me what I wanted to do.  Their final offer was simple.  They offered to help me take care of the baby, as long as I promised to stay in school.

I waited until I was just a week shy of my third trimester to reveal to my parents that I had made a life altering decision. I let fear make me keep such an important secret.  Fear crippled me. However, once the secret was out, after everyone that I loved knew, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I spent what should have been a few very special moments in my life living in silence and fear.  I couldn’t share the baby’s first kicks with anyone.  I couldn’t ask my mom why my breast felt so heavy.  My rejoice was spent in a suffocating silence.

I share this story to give you hope.  I want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone.  Give your parents, grandparents, or whomever is your support system, the benefit of the doubt.

No, not everyone’s outcome will be the same.  Some parents will scream, curse, and fuss.  Some may under-react and some will definitely over-react.  However, they deserve to know as soon as possible.  You will need their support.  You will need for them to help you identify your options.  They need to know that their life is about to change too.

I leave you with this article.

http://wgntv.com/2017/11/08/denver-16-year-old-accused-of-suffocating-newborn-with-rock-in-throat/.

After reading this, if you already haven’t , go knock on your parents door, and take the load off of your shoulders.  Tell them your secret.

I’m standing right there beside you.  Remember, you CAN do this.

God Bless.

As we enter the holiday season, thoughts of gifts enter our mind. What will I buy? How much can I afford? Will my child still love me if I can’t provide a lot? If I can’t does this mean that I’m a bad mom? Many mothers, young and old, have lost sleep and shed tears over these very questions.

Whether the child is 5 days or 5 years old, we want to provide our babies with an amazing Christmas. Lots and lots of gifts. After all, they deserve it right? Indeed they do. However, not everyone is financially able to splurge and stack gifts higher than the Christmas tree.

Following, I’ve listed what I’ve found (after making Christmas special for 24 years) to be the The 3 Must-Haves Christmas gifts for children of all ages.

3. Give them some of what they want.

All children should have something under the tree to unwrap on Christmas Day. Now this does not mean that you should break the bank, or go in to debt, trying to get them the hottest items of the year. If your child is under the age of 5, you really shouldn’t do this. They only want the wrapping paper anyway.

However, you can make sure that your child has an amazing day by shopping smart.

• Visit the clearance aisles of super stores such as Walmart and Target. They usually mark down or clearance items just because the box is torn. This is a great way to save a few dollars.
• Shopping at the dollar store for the really young babies can really stretch your dollar, while providing many gifts for that special morning.
• For the older children, ask them for the top 3 reasonable items on their wish list. Tell them that you’ll choose one (even if you plan to get them all 3).
• Don’t be embarrassed or afraid to use a lay-a-way plan. It was my best friend for many years.

2. Give them something that they need.

It really is ok to wrap and gift a coat, scarf, hats, gloves, clothes, shoes, pajamas, underwear, diapers, bottles, etc. These are all of the items that your child will need anyway. Why not wrap them and pad the gifts under the tree? Contrary to popular belief, children really do get excited about new clothes and shoes. My children are 24, 21, and 18 and they each got pajamas and socks as one of their gifts from me last Christmas, and they were happy about it.

*Money saving tip: Maximize your dollar. Head over to the clearance section of department stores such as Macy’s or Nordstrom’s (clearance sections can even be found online) or bargain stores like Burlington, Marshall’s, or TJMaxx. You will find great prices on fashionable clothing/shoes without spending high end dollars.

3. Give them you!

I can honestly say that my children DO NOT remember most of what they received any year for Christmas. Most children don’t. They will probably not even play with the toys for long after the New Year. What they will remember is you being there. They’ll remember you helping them to unwrap the gifts or taking the picture of them with the gifts. As they grow older, they’ll remember how hard you worked to provide them with the gifts. So give them you. Please know and believe that your love and presence really is enough!

God Bless!

229, 715.  According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of Adolescent Health, that is the number of babies that were born to women ages 15-29 in 2015.  While this number has decreased from past years, it is still holds great significance.  Assuming that these were all single births, and that each of these mothers had one fear, question, or challenge, there exists a lot of unknowns within this special population of moms.

Many organizations across the country, with lots of resources, exist to assist in preventing teen pregnancy.  The month of May has been designated as National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month.  May 4 is National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.  While these efforts are necessary, we can’t forget about or ignore the needs of the young ladies who did become teen moms.  Who is there for them?

Where do I go to…..?  Who do I call if…..?  How do I know when…..?  These are the beginnings of questions that all teen mothers have.  We can not assume that these new mothers have a support system from whom they seek answers.  Maybe they do have an amazing support system, but feel that no one within it understands their situation, because it wasn’t their situation.

It is my goal to ensure that no question is left unanswered, no dream is left deferred, and no need is left unmet.  I want to see each of you flourish.  Through my personal experiences, child-rearing journey, parenting pearls of wisdom, challenges and obstacles, and success testimonials from other young mothers, I hope to encourage you.  If I can keep one baby from being left on a doorstep because mommy couldn’t cope, one young mom from reaching her point of no return, or one innocent soul from losing his/her life, then the mission that I am setting forth will be accomplished.

As The Burgeoning Mom Experience movement continues to develop, I hope to offer networking opportunities, pop-up baby showers around the country, celebrate you with Young Mommy of the Month awards, and hold monthly surprise giveaways.  So, whether your baby is on the way, just took his/her first breath, or blessed your life years ago, join us here.  Check in often. Invite your friends and loved ones.   Let’s burgeon and live your experience, together.

I believe in you.  You CAN and WILL do this!